Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Single in the Service

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Reading novels by Graham Greene, you'd think the life of the Brit or American abroad was an endless whirl of love affairs with delicate young women who have no thoughts of their own. Not so!

It's not particularly easy being single in any time or place, but the Foreign Service has many of the difficulties of the transient, expat life combined with certain restrictions on who you can associate with and under what circumstances.

Your spouse will probably be forced to give up his/her career and follow you around, kids in tow. Obviously this is a bigger problem for the highly ambitious, but even the more easily contented may find it difficult to find suitable employment depending on where you get posted.

The divorce rate is high and many have trouble forming meaningful, lasting relationships. You're a 'catch' - good salary, prestige, a certain amount of status depending on that country's relationship to the United States - but that leads you to doubt your partner's intentions.

Avoid that route and marry another FSO, and you could very easily get split up for years at a time. The State Department tries to keep 'tandem' couples together, but they make no promises.

For women, especially, it can be challenging. Cultural attitudes don't always welcome working women, and the American population may be more interested in local girls. A not particularly funny joke goes like this:

How can you tell where FSOs served their first tour?

For men, look at his wife.
For women, look at her furniture.

Har har har. It's good furniture though. 

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